unimagined, indescribable, interconnected events (7thfeather) wrote,
unimagined, indescribable, interconnected events
7thfeather

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no drama

Fuckity, fuckity, fuck! I need to lose some weight! God, I've been eating like a pig lately, piling on the cals just to spite my own stupid thoughts. I have NO self-control. Why can't I just stop eating... it's so easy. I could just... not say anything, at all. EVER. It wouldn't be drama, it would be a choice. Instead of squashing the whole idea, I could just reject the attention... I just need to feel free again. Light, thin... it'd be so nice. I'm so fat.I hate it! I can't stand it! I just feel angry and hateful and stupid, everything is just another mistake. I need to control this... or something, at least.

*deep breath* I needed to get that out.

I need to get this food out of the house. uhg. Out of my body... so heavy. I hate it, gross. I just want to throw up.

And that too.

I tried to last night but it hurt my tongue. I need to try harder... it'd be so simple that way.

FUCK. This isn't drama, this is a choice! My choice! I am allowed to choose if I want to!

It isn't fair. I'm so pissed off at nothing it hurts. Why!? FUCK, I hate my body how it is right now... I

I'm going to go on the treadmill. YES. OMG PERFECT. I'll stop eating, I'll purge... no one will have to know this time. I won't tell them. I won't admit it, ever. It won't be drama.

Tags: ana
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