unimagined, indescribable, interconnected events (7thfeather) wrote,
unimagined, indescribable, interconnected events
7thfeather

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Why wouldn't I stand in line tonight?

Whenever I answer a question in my math class I feel like a complete idiot. I'm constantly embarrassing myself with stupid answers! I always want to shrink under my desk and hide there until the bell rings... >___> Moreso, Mr. Wells makes my dream of becoming a quantum physicist sound like the most impossible thing in the world.

"You can't just practise a lot to get math in university; it's not like high school. You have to know it and understand everything. It's got to be instant."

*sob*

Lately my eating has been... okay. Actually, no, it's been completely terrible. I just can't tell the difference between hunger and satisfaction anymore! I'll eat something... still feel hungry, so I eat more. Then I'll still feel hungry so I'll struggle for a moment between eating and not eating (which boils down to listening to ana and ignoring it). Sometimes I eat, sometimes I don't, either way I'm still hungry an hour later and I end up eating again to fix it. It just keeps going like this until I suddenly feel overly full... so full that my stomach actually aches! And that only makes me want to purge somehow. But I don't because it's all total shit.

But yes. Almost time to go back to school.

Tags: ana, school
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